The ABCs of Caffeine and Motherhood

Now I realize some of you discovered the ecstasy that is coffee at an early age. Some of you discovered coffee in high school, others discovered coffee in college during final exam weeks...others of us, however, discovered coffee at a much later age. I am one of these people. Sure I enjoyed an occasional latte, but I never had pure, unadulterated, burning need for coffee until after I had my first child.

Ryan was a pure delight as an infant! Okay, that's actually a blatant lie...he was HORRIBLE! He was colicy and slept for just 15 minute segments before he would wake up to cry again. He refused to let anyone hold him but me, not even his father could hold him. At 8:00 p.m. every night he would start screaming FOR. THE. NEXT. THREE. HOURS! The only time I was able to sleep is when he slept right on top of my chest and if I was lucky I could catch 30-45 minutes of sleep in this manner.

Needless to say, my body's requirements for sleep were a bit unsatisfied. And so began my addiction to coffee. Since Ryan (let me just add a sidenote that he blossomed into a wonderful toddler and a lovely young man), Jordan and Rachael have also come along. All my children are morning people, unfortunately they believe morning should start no later than 7:00 a.m. and as early at 5:30 a.m. The rule has always been, I will turn on cartoons, I will give you food, and I will give you milk and then....you have GOT to leave me alone until I've had coffee.

I can distinctly remember one morning when Jordan was three and she was trying to tell me a little story. Let me note here that whereas men use 5,000 words/day, women use 10,000...Jordan likes to use 30,000 words per day! I had no idea what this kid was saying to me! Fortunately, Ryan (a very wise 4 year old) piped up and said "Jordan, mommy can't hear you yet she hasn't had coffee." That's right! I can't hear you! Wait until I've had coffee! See, I told you her turned into a very lovely young man.

My point is, as mothers, we need coffee and lots of it. I always tell my friends who are new moms, "Don't worry about teaching your kids manners or the letters of the alphabet or how to count to 10. They'll learn that in preschool, you teach your kids that you need coffee!" There is no other person caring enough to help your children understand the human's basic need for a stream of adrenaline being slowly digested and processed into the bloodstream!"

Have a great day everyone and let's stay caffeinated!
A.M.