This cannot be my life!

BK (remember, this means before kids) I always thought I would be a stay at home mom. My husband would go off to work, I'd play and educate the 2.5 children and our dog in our suburban home with the white picket fence.

Then. I. Had. Kids!!!

After Ryan was born I changed my work schedule from 4 days to 2 days a week. It was really ideal! I got to work a bit, take a break from a newborn, and live a fairly balanced life. When Jordan came along we decided it was time for me to realize all my dreams and stay at home with the kids. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it! It wasn't!! Ryan and Jordan are just 19 months apart and I quickly found out that caring for two small children is no easy feat. To go anywhere I was typically carting Ryan around on my hip, while hauling Jordan in the infant carrier. My hips were constantly out of whack & my right bicep was 3 times larger than my left one!!! Heaven forbid I needed groceries, Jordan took up the front seat of the cart & Ryan took up the back, ummm...food!?!

Just five months into my journey of full-time motherhood, I realized I just couldn't do it. Jordan was still sleeping and Ryan and I were eating frozen waffles at the little tikes table. My sweet husband had purchased Ryan a new video tape. And lets' face it moms, we don't care what video it is, we're just happy to have something new!!! So....without checking the cover, I put in the new video and quickly came to the realization that it was "Potty Time with Bear in the Big Blue House"! So...I'm sitting there, at the little tikes table, eating my waffles with my 2 year old, watching a blue puppet mouse (Tutter, in case you're wondering) learn how to poop on the potty! It was at this moment that I realized, "THIS cannot be my life!!"

I quickly called my husband and explained...well...maybe sobbed that I could not do this full time and I HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!! I have to admit he took it quite well. "No problems dear, we'll work it out." Whew!!! I quickly called and asked (groveled) for my old job, which the company had not yet filled. Again, whew!!

Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever done! It's also the most rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for the world and yet I feel grateful that I have the ability to balance a job that I love with a family I love even more!

ABCs and 123s

Don't you just love the school years!?! It's so much fun to see your kids learning the alphabet and numbers and how to not pick their nose in public! When my oldest when to preschool I went to every conference just to confirm that he was interacting with children, behaving well, and able to learn. I was SOOOOO proud (he was brilliant, of course)!

By the time my third went to preschool I was a bit more...practical...maybe jaded....definitely overwhelmed. As I'm waiting along with the other preschool moms for the door to open and free our precious cargo, another mom asked if I had signed up for conferences yet. My response? NOOOO! She seemed aghast, as if I didn't want to know how my child had been developing. I calmly asked, "is so-and-so your oldest?" "Yes." Hmmmmmm. (Honestly, I had been there too with my oldest) The truth is at 3 years old as long as my kid isn't biting anyone and can use the bathroom, I figure we're good.

I wish I could tell you that my elementary conferences are more insightful. Overall, they really aren't. Every semester the teacher sends home a reminder sheet of my child's conference time & a cut-off sheet where I can jot down questions or issues I would like to discuss. My son, now in 5th grade, was quite upset that I hadn't filled out the form and returned it to his teacher like she had asked. Again time for a dosage of truth....if there were serious problems I would probably have already been notified or I would have contacted the teacher myself. I know how children are doing academically! I help with homework as needed (and if I can understand it), we read together, we have conversations around the dinner table. If there truly were issues, I would take conferences more seriously. However, I can certainly find a better use of my hour than to stand around waiting in the hall for the parents who are using up my time slot just to hear my child is doing well and their teachers have no concerns.

I think we need to revamp the whole idea of conferences. Rather than a list of here's what I want to discuss, how about a checkbox?

Is my child behaving? ___yes ___no
Is my child learning? ___yes ___ no
Is my child so brilliant they should be in a different grade? ___yes ____no
Does my child need help? ___yes ___no
Do you need me to meet with you __yes ___no

I'm not saying we don't need valuable face time as parents with our children's teachers, I'm just saying let's focus on the keyword: VALUABLE!