This cannot be my life!

BK (remember, this means before kids) I always thought I would be a stay at home mom. My husband would go off to work, I'd play and educate the 2.5 children and our dog in our suburban home with the white picket fence.

Then. I. Had. Kids!!!

After Ryan was born I changed my work schedule from 4 days to 2 days a week. It was really ideal! I got to work a bit, take a break from a newborn, and live a fairly balanced life. When Jordan came along we decided it was time for me to realize all my dreams and stay at home with the kids. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it! It wasn't!! Ryan and Jordan are just 19 months apart and I quickly found out that caring for two small children is no easy feat. To go anywhere I was typically carting Ryan around on my hip, while hauling Jordan in the infant carrier. My hips were constantly out of whack & my right bicep was 3 times larger than my left one!!! Heaven forbid I needed groceries, Jordan took up the front seat of the cart & Ryan took up the back, ummm...food!?!

Just five months into my journey of full-time motherhood, I realized I just couldn't do it. Jordan was still sleeping and Ryan and I were eating frozen waffles at the little tikes table. My sweet husband had purchased Ryan a new video tape. And lets' face it moms, we don't care what video it is, we're just happy to have something new!!! So....without checking the cover, I put in the new video and quickly came to the realization that it was "Potty Time with Bear in the Big Blue House"! So...I'm sitting there, at the little tikes table, eating my waffles with my 2 year old, watching a blue puppet mouse (Tutter, in case you're wondering) learn how to poop on the potty! It was at this moment that I realized, "THIS cannot be my life!!"

I quickly called my husband and explained...well...maybe sobbed that I could not do this full time and I HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!! I have to admit he took it quite well. "No problems dear, we'll work it out." Whew!!! I quickly called and asked (groveled) for my old job, which the company had not yet filled. Again, whew!!

Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever done! It's also the most rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for the world and yet I feel grateful that I have the ability to balance a job that I love with a family I love even more!