BK (remember, this means before kids) I always thought I would be a stay at home mom. My husband would go off to work, I'd play and educate the 2.5 children and our dog in our suburban home with the white picket fence.
Then. I. Had. Kids!!!
After Ryan was born I changed my work schedule from 4 days to 2 days a week. It was really ideal! I got to work a bit, take a break from a newborn, and live a fairly balanced life. When Jordan came along we decided it was time for me to realize all my dreams and stay at home with the kids. Sounds idyllic, doesn't it! It wasn't!! Ryan and Jordan are just 19 months apart and I quickly found out that caring for two small children is no easy feat. To go anywhere I was typically carting Ryan around on my hip, while hauling Jordan in the infant carrier. My hips were constantly out of whack & my right bicep was 3 times larger than my left one!!! Heaven forbid I needed groceries, Jordan took up the front seat of the cart & Ryan took up the back, ummm...food!?!
Just five months into my journey of full-time motherhood, I realized I just couldn't do it. Jordan was still sleeping and Ryan and I were eating frozen waffles at the little tikes table. My sweet husband had purchased Ryan a new video tape. And lets' face it moms, we don't care what video it is, we're just happy to have something new!!! So....without checking the cover, I put in the new video and quickly came to the realization that it was "Potty Time with Bear in the Big Blue House"! So...I'm sitting there, at the little tikes table, eating my waffles with my 2 year old, watching a blue puppet mouse (Tutter, in case you're wondering) learn how to poop on the potty! It was at this moment that I realized, "THIS cannot be my life!!"
I quickly called my husband and explained...well...maybe sobbed that I could not do this full time and I HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!! I have to admit he took it quite well. "No problems dear, we'll work it out." Whew!!! I quickly called and asked (groveled) for my old job, which the company had not yet filled. Again, whew!!
Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever done! It's also the most rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for the world and yet I feel grateful that I have the ability to balance a job that I love with a family I love even more!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
ABCs and 123s
Don't you just love the school years!?! It's so much fun to see your kids learning the alphabet and numbers and how to not pick their nose in public! When my oldest when to preschool I went to every conference just to confirm that he was interacting with children, behaving well, and able to learn. I was SOOOOO proud (he was brilliant, of course)!
By the time my third went to preschool I was a bit more...practical...maybe jaded....definitely overwhelmed. As I'm waiting along with the other preschool moms for the door to open and free our precious cargo, another mom asked if I had signed up for conferences yet. My response? NOOOO! She seemed aghast, as if I didn't want to know how my child had been developing. I calmly asked, "is so-and-so your oldest?" "Yes." Hmmmmmm. (Honestly, I had been there too with my oldest) The truth is at 3 years old as long as my kid isn't biting anyone and can use the bathroom, I figure we're good.
I wish I could tell you that my elementary conferences are more insightful. Overall, they really aren't. Every semester the teacher sends home a reminder sheet of my child's conference time & a cut-off sheet where I can jot down questions or issues I would like to discuss. My son, now in 5th grade, was quite upset that I hadn't filled out the form and returned it to his teacher like she had asked. Again time for a dosage of truth....if there were serious problems I would probably have already been notified or I would have contacted the teacher myself. I know how children are doing academically! I help with homework as needed (and if I can understand it), we read together, we have conversations around the dinner table. If there truly were issues, I would take conferences more seriously. However, I can certainly find a better use of my hour than to stand around waiting in the hall for the parents who are using up my time slot just to hear my child is doing well and their teachers have no concerns.
I think we need to revamp the whole idea of conferences. Rather than a list of here's what I want to discuss, how about a checkbox?
Is my child behaving? ___yes ___no
Is my child learning? ___yes ___ no
Is my child so brilliant they should be in a different grade? ___yes ____no
Does my child need help? ___yes ___no
Do you need me to meet with you __yes ___no
I'm not saying we don't need valuable face time as parents with our children's teachers, I'm just saying let's focus on the keyword: VALUABLE!
By the time my third went to preschool I was a bit more...practical...maybe jaded....definitely overwhelmed. As I'm waiting along with the other preschool moms for the door to open and free our precious cargo, another mom asked if I had signed up for conferences yet. My response? NOOOO! She seemed aghast, as if I didn't want to know how my child had been developing. I calmly asked, "is so-and-so your oldest?" "Yes." Hmmmmmm. (Honestly, I had been there too with my oldest) The truth is at 3 years old as long as my kid isn't biting anyone and can use the bathroom, I figure we're good.
I wish I could tell you that my elementary conferences are more insightful. Overall, they really aren't. Every semester the teacher sends home a reminder sheet of my child's conference time & a cut-off sheet where I can jot down questions or issues I would like to discuss. My son, now in 5th grade, was quite upset that I hadn't filled out the form and returned it to his teacher like she had asked. Again time for a dosage of truth....if there were serious problems I would probably have already been notified or I would have contacted the teacher myself. I know how children are doing academically! I help with homework as needed (and if I can understand it), we read together, we have conversations around the dinner table. If there truly were issues, I would take conferences more seriously. However, I can certainly find a better use of my hour than to stand around waiting in the hall for the parents who are using up my time slot just to hear my child is doing well and their teachers have no concerns.
I think we need to revamp the whole idea of conferences. Rather than a list of here's what I want to discuss, how about a checkbox?
Is my child behaving? ___yes ___no
Is my child learning? ___yes ___ no
Is my child so brilliant they should be in a different grade? ___yes ____no
Does my child need help? ___yes ___no
Do you need me to meet with you __yes ___no
I'm not saying we don't need valuable face time as parents with our children's teachers, I'm just saying let's focus on the keyword: VALUABLE!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
OMG, THAT is so gross!
Before I had children I thought I had a fairly good understanding of what the word gross meant. Stepping in dog poo while wearing flip flops, seeing someone in the next car pick their nose, or even seeing Dennis Franz's naked behind on tv would all elicit an "ewwwww, that is so gross!"
Since having children, however, I have had to re-evaluate the true meaning of gross. Gross is going to pick up your beautiful baby, just to realize that during their naptime they have had an explosive blowout that has caused poo to not only run up along their backside, but also all over their crib, their hair and (if they're old enough) you may even detect a slighty pungent smell coming from their mouth (yes, this has happend!). Gross is offering your water bottle to your poor, dehydrated child and upon receiving said bottle back, you can clearly see a swirly of goo in what was once your pristine bottle of Evian. Gross is realizing that as you turned to teach for the towel you 3 year old has had diahrrea in the tub in which he (and his 18 month old sister) are now swimming in.
Despite all this nastiness, I also find it interesting at what no longer appears gross. Smelling your baby's backside for unpleasant smells, holding spat up food that was either too hot or too ishy to swallow or wiping a snotty nose with your hand (you used the last kleenex to clean up the barf they spewed on you just 3 minutes ago).
My children have certainly helped create a unique perspective for me. Things are no longer black or white, definitely a swirly gray with a distinctive odor. Along with this perspective, not only have things become less gross, they've also become more funny.
The next time you think of something gross, remember....you could be a mom and THAT can be really gross!
a.m.
Since having children, however, I have had to re-evaluate the true meaning of gross. Gross is going to pick up your beautiful baby, just to realize that during their naptime they have had an explosive blowout that has caused poo to not only run up along their backside, but also all over their crib, their hair and (if they're old enough) you may even detect a slighty pungent smell coming from their mouth (yes, this has happend!). Gross is offering your water bottle to your poor, dehydrated child and upon receiving said bottle back, you can clearly see a swirly of goo in what was once your pristine bottle of Evian. Gross is realizing that as you turned to teach for the towel you 3 year old has had diahrrea in the tub in which he (and his 18 month old sister) are now swimming in.
Despite all this nastiness, I also find it interesting at what no longer appears gross. Smelling your baby's backside for unpleasant smells, holding spat up food that was either too hot or too ishy to swallow or wiping a snotty nose with your hand (you used the last kleenex to clean up the barf they spewed on you just 3 minutes ago).
My children have certainly helped create a unique perspective for me. Things are no longer black or white, definitely a swirly gray with a distinctive odor. Along with this perspective, not only have things become less gross, they've also become more funny.
The next time you think of something gross, remember....you could be a mom and THAT can be really gross!
a.m.
Friday, January 8, 2010
What I miss most about BK (before kids)
I suppose some of you will thing of things like going out whenver I want or staying out late and sleeping in late or buying fabulous clothes & getting manicures. Surprisingly, I don't miss any of these things. What I truly miss most is...quiet.
I didn't realize how much energy I gain from quiet time. With three kids, all of whom are early risers (we're talking 6:30 a.m....7:00 a.m. on a good day), my day begins with incessant requests for breakfast and ends with complaints of bedtime and incessant requests for a glass of water or a favorite stuffie or new batteries in flashlights. The middle part of the day sounds like this: Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom... For those of you who are first time mothers I know you can't wait until your little one says your name for the very first time, but I'm here to tell you, after hearing "mom" repeated by three children for a total of 3,482 times in a day, you will be campaigning to have them call you ANYTHING BUT MOM! Here are a few that would make my list: Ann Marie, AMA (maiden name initials), A.M. (current nickname), Beotch (said with a smile of course, like, "beotch, where's my breakfast?, OK, I'm mostly kidding about this one, but I think you get my point).
My husband has learned to deal with hearing me say "ssshhh" on a consistent basis throughout the day. This used to be one of his pet peeves. He felt is was disrespectful to be shushed, but he's finally leanred that I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just trying to preserve my sanity. (My volumne control is normally much lower than his.) In my world, we don't need to be yelling and screaming and shrieking at 120 decibels. I can hear you quite well at a much lower level, if I choose to listen!
I have learned that receiving just 15 minutes of peace in the morning is the greatest time on earth. The sky is still dark, the tv is not turned on, I can sit and read a magazine while I drink my coffee. This is my slice of heaven! I don't get these 15 minutes very often...once a week, once every other week, but when I get my 15 minutes the world is right for the rest of the day.
What's the thing you miss most BK? Can you take 15 minutes this week to accomplish that one thing? Remember, it's not being selfish, it's self-preservation!
Have a great day!
A.M.
I didn't realize how much energy I gain from quiet time. With three kids, all of whom are early risers (we're talking 6:30 a.m....7:00 a.m. on a good day), my day begins with incessant requests for breakfast and ends with complaints of bedtime and incessant requests for a glass of water or a favorite stuffie or new batteries in flashlights. The middle part of the day sounds like this: Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom....Mom... For those of you who are first time mothers I know you can't wait until your little one says your name for the very first time, but I'm here to tell you, after hearing "mom" repeated by three children for a total of 3,482 times in a day, you will be campaigning to have them call you ANYTHING BUT MOM! Here are a few that would make my list: Ann Marie, AMA (maiden name initials), A.M. (current nickname), Beotch (said with a smile of course, like, "beotch, where's my breakfast?, OK, I'm mostly kidding about this one, but I think you get my point).
My husband has learned to deal with hearing me say "ssshhh" on a consistent basis throughout the day. This used to be one of his pet peeves. He felt is was disrespectful to be shushed, but he's finally leanred that I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just trying to preserve my sanity. (My volumne control is normally much lower than his.) In my world, we don't need to be yelling and screaming and shrieking at 120 decibels. I can hear you quite well at a much lower level, if I choose to listen!
I have learned that receiving just 15 minutes of peace in the morning is the greatest time on earth. The sky is still dark, the tv is not turned on, I can sit and read a magazine while I drink my coffee. This is my slice of heaven! I don't get these 15 minutes very often...once a week, once every other week, but when I get my 15 minutes the world is right for the rest of the day.
What's the thing you miss most BK? Can you take 15 minutes this week to accomplish that one thing? Remember, it's not being selfish, it's self-preservation!
Have a great day!
A.M.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
The ABCs of Caffeine and Motherhood
Now I realize some of you discovered the ecstasy that is coffee at an early age. Some of you discovered coffee in high school, others discovered coffee in college during final exam weeks...others of us, however, discovered coffee at a much later age. I am one of these people. Sure I enjoyed an occasional latte, but I never had pure, unadulterated, burning need for coffee until after I had my first child.
Ryan was a pure delight as an infant! Okay, that's actually a blatant lie...he was HORRIBLE! He was colicy and slept for just 15 minute segments before he would wake up to cry again. He refused to let anyone hold him but me, not even his father could hold him. At 8:00 p.m. every night he would start screaming FOR. THE. NEXT. THREE. HOURS! The only time I was able to sleep is when he slept right on top of my chest and if I was lucky I could catch 30-45 minutes of sleep in this manner.
Needless to say, my body's requirements for sleep were a bit unsatisfied. And so began my addiction to coffee. Since Ryan (let me just add a sidenote that he blossomed into a wonderful toddler and a lovely young man), Jordan and Rachael have also come along. All my children are morning people, unfortunately they believe morning should start no later than 7:00 a.m. and as early at 5:30 a.m. The rule has always been, I will turn on cartoons, I will give you food, and I will give you milk and then....you have GOT to leave me alone until I've had coffee.
I can distinctly remember one morning when Jordan was three and she was trying to tell me a little story. Let me note here that whereas men use 5,000 words/day, women use 10,000...Jordan likes to use 30,000 words per day! I had no idea what this kid was saying to me! Fortunately, Ryan (a very wise 4 year old) piped up and said "Jordan, mommy can't hear you yet she hasn't had coffee." That's right! I can't hear you! Wait until I've had coffee! See, I told you her turned into a very lovely young man.
My point is, as mothers, we need coffee and lots of it. I always tell my friends who are new moms, "Don't worry about teaching your kids manners or the letters of the alphabet or how to count to 10. They'll learn that in preschool, you teach your kids that you need coffee!" There is no other person caring enough to help your children understand the human's basic need for a stream of adrenaline being slowly digested and processed into the bloodstream!"
Have a great day everyone and let's stay caffeinated!
A.M.
Ryan was a pure delight as an infant! Okay, that's actually a blatant lie...he was HORRIBLE! He was colicy and slept for just 15 minute segments before he would wake up to cry again. He refused to let anyone hold him but me, not even his father could hold him. At 8:00 p.m. every night he would start screaming FOR. THE. NEXT. THREE. HOURS! The only time I was able to sleep is when he slept right on top of my chest and if I was lucky I could catch 30-45 minutes of sleep in this manner.
Needless to say, my body's requirements for sleep were a bit unsatisfied. And so began my addiction to coffee. Since Ryan (let me just add a sidenote that he blossomed into a wonderful toddler and a lovely young man), Jordan and Rachael have also come along. All my children are morning people, unfortunately they believe morning should start no later than 7:00 a.m. and as early at 5:30 a.m. The rule has always been, I will turn on cartoons, I will give you food, and I will give you milk and then....you have GOT to leave me alone until I've had coffee.
I can distinctly remember one morning when Jordan was three and she was trying to tell me a little story. Let me note here that whereas men use 5,000 words/day, women use 10,000...Jordan likes to use 30,000 words per day! I had no idea what this kid was saying to me! Fortunately, Ryan (a very wise 4 year old) piped up and said "Jordan, mommy can't hear you yet she hasn't had coffee." That's right! I can't hear you! Wait until I've had coffee! See, I told you her turned into a very lovely young man.
My point is, as mothers, we need coffee and lots of it. I always tell my friends who are new moms, "Don't worry about teaching your kids manners or the letters of the alphabet or how to count to 10. They'll learn that in preschool, you teach your kids that you need coffee!" There is no other person caring enough to help your children understand the human's basic need for a stream of adrenaline being slowly digested and processed into the bloodstream!"
Have a great day everyone and let's stay caffeinated!
A.M.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Let me introduce myself
Hi everyone,
My name is Ann Marie, A.M. for short, and I am a proud suburban housewife. I've been blessed (most days I consider it blessed) with 3 children plus a stepchild. I work part-time as a trainer, which I love (also most of time). I'm currently 40 years old and been married for nearly 10 of those 40 (most of the time I enjoy being 40 and married as well).
Growing up I didn't consider whether I wanted to be a wife and mother, it was really just assumed. Of course I'd get married. Of course I'd have children. I can remember thinking about how idyllic my life with a tall, dark, handsome man and four perfectly well behaved children who I like to engage in creative activities like pretending we're spacemen for a day and revamping our entire living room into a space fantasy world. Yeah...I know! Then I actually got married and actually had children, boy did that change my fantasy world!
This blog is to share my insights on what it's truly like to be a suburban housewife. I hope you find my rantings amusing, sometimes helpful, or at the very least a small distraction from your own reality as you get a glimpse of mine!
A.M.
My name is Ann Marie, A.M. for short, and I am a proud suburban housewife. I've been blessed (most days I consider it blessed) with 3 children plus a stepchild. I work part-time as a trainer, which I love (also most of time). I'm currently 40 years old and been married for nearly 10 of those 40 (most of the time I enjoy being 40 and married as well).
Growing up I didn't consider whether I wanted to be a wife and mother, it was really just assumed. Of course I'd get married. Of course I'd have children. I can remember thinking about how idyllic my life with a tall, dark, handsome man and four perfectly well behaved children who I like to engage in creative activities like pretending we're spacemen for a day and revamping our entire living room into a space fantasy world. Yeah...I know! Then I actually got married and actually had children, boy did that change my fantasy world!
This blog is to share my insights on what it's truly like to be a suburban housewife. I hope you find my rantings amusing, sometimes helpful, or at the very least a small distraction from your own reality as you get a glimpse of mine!
A.M.
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